well why not me.....

well why not me.....i can be sarcastic....well i'm mostly sarcastic...........my sense of humor is base upon my sarcasm and i tend to keep people around me pretty happy with it.....
but this is a different level of sarcasm.....here the joke is made of our lives...of the lives of those people who cant voice their grievances and of those whose grievances fall on deaf ears.....
some people tend to rise to fame riding on a facade and they seem to be pretty proud of themselves.....well this is about those ruthless bastards and those smothered millions and somethings more!!!!! its called THE TRIUMPH OF LIFE....

Triumph of Life

burning bright in the dark
fading away with a spark
colours of life turning grey
a darker shade everyday
stranger than fiction it seems
people claiming that life beams
love and happiness is whats all there
but their claims are overruled everywhere
riddled with pain and plight
we call it the Triumph of Life
Triumph of Life!!!!

every face bears a smile
preaching that all's fine
a picture so beautiful
humanity should be grateful
lifting up our hands
while the elite take up the stands
strugling for a nibble
smothering the feeble
with power and might
we call it the Triumph of Life
Triumph of Life!!!

on we cling
convinced that hope isnt a fling
ready to bleed and die
for glory even if its a lie
like a phoenix one rises
seldom and houses
in our hearts
despite all the hurts
with mettle without fright
we call it the Triumph of Life
Triumph of Life!!!!

Darkness.....

well we often feel that we r all alone in this dark and dirty world......we r standing alone somewhere and nobody is near us or even close to us....this is a pretty serious situation and this is what i have tried to describe here.....this just brings out the real loneliness that one faces and the ways that one craves to get out of it also.....also superstitions and misconceptions lead us to darkness of intellect and judgement.....more so a way devoid of any spiritual guidance or satanism can lead us into darkness...but whatever it is it stays along with us until and unless we try to redeem ourselves or correct ourselves to make us feel better...this way of redemption should come from one's own self and not through the guidance of some tom dick n harry........
so here is how it goes.......

Darkness...

standing alone in the dark
engulfed in loneliness
waiting for a bark
to know i am not the only one to caress
not a soul to be felt
not a ray of light
seems like i have dwelt
my entire life without a fight
in darkness of my faith
ignorance and blindness
filled with darkness!!!

trying to find a gleam
searching a way out
trying to see if i can dream
with eyes open, but its darkness all around
like a fallen warrior i try
fighting till my last
giving it all till the ultimate/last cry
but can see hope fade away fast
in the darkness of defeat
exhaustion and weariness
filled with darkness!!!!

err......

this is post is more of a self preservation or awakening post for me.....finally i have realized that i ought not to take any thing for granted and have to do all shit seriously......
i may be as care free as i can but wen its business i have to do it with full heart......
so this is for all that....its called....
what i have done???


never felt so alone,
never so deserted....
that i would be so
a glimpse never though of.....
minutes seem longer,
a week like an era....
what have i done to deserve this?
what have i done to be without bliss....

battered by fate
the test of gods i failed.......
riding high with arrogance
was too late in realising my ignorance
solitude, which i used to so crave
now feels like drawing me to the grave
what have i done to deserve such pain?
what have i done to want to fade....

learned the hard way
a price too dear i have to pay....
nothing matters any more
the same mistakes i'll make no more.....
will never let my guard down,
not a bed of roses now its known
what i have done i will redeem.....
never shall i ask this again!!!

the phase that i am going through presently is a pretty difficult one for me....
i hope to get out of this mess pretty quickly.....problems for me comes from all corners....outside and inside...sometimes it becomes quite difficult to manage all of them...but i still hang on waiting for that particular day when i can do whatever i think i should without having to look around....hehe!!!

farewell to an era........

finally am about to graduate from college......this is supposed to be a big achievement and it sure is.....but y do i feel so depressed....the happiness of graduating has been marred by a sense of sadness.....it feels as though these past 4 yrs have passed in a bliss......though m graduating in a very troubled time but it feels that the thought of leaving this college hurts the most.....
for the past 4 yrs what i have done is to curse the gruesome mess food and the useless gate timing and the different restrictions imposed upon us by the proctor cell and the college administration.....
now it seems that these things will be missed the most......
it is in human nature to not appreciate what we have at hand.....this is the first time that i am realizing it....it sure is a wonderful feeling but it does make me feel sad......
as one by one my friends are leaving this place for the final time i am feeling a strange knot in my stomach.....as if i am afraid to leave this place.....never have i felt like this before, not even when i had to leave my home to come here.......this is really strange......i am at a loss trying to figure out why my emotions are acting like this.......neither can i confront them nor can i confide them to anyone....damn i wish i had a girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!
i have come to know many weird and wonderful people in this college........even learn tits and bits of lots of languages....these past 4 yrs really had been an unprecedented experience.......
farewell NIT,JALANDHAR.......i came here as a boy and now am going out as a man........

reflections

this post is after a fairly long time......i would like to think this one a post that reminds us that we only get to live once. so when we stand at the very end of our journey in this world we should not think that we could have led our life differently and that what we have lived is not what we had intended to..............a bit philosophical i know and a bit uncanny for a bloke like me.......but still........
hehe......

when you were to die
you came to realise
you never satisfied
desires nor expectations
never played by the rules
never gave a flying fuck

wish you could change
those ideals so lame
wish you had played a different game
happier and solemn
less would have been the pain
less would u be so drained

like a barren tree you lay
without another chance
to revive what you glance
redeem or restore
reflections of a better life
reflections without others' grief

22 and counting......

this day makes me feel something special about me......its my birthday...... someone once said that there is nothing to feel good about your birthday cause u r taking a step closer to your death.......
I say fuck that.....its a very special in each of ours lives and we should enjoy it the fullest.......
this is the day that we saw the light of day or the darkness of night or the first rain fall.......each of us has a different experience to share.......
i was born in the afternoon and its peak summer in India in april.....
so it was the scorching sun for me......THE LIGHT OF DAY.......
when i was a kid i was very naughty and troublesome......i would get punished always for my misdeeds.....the only exception being on my birthday......i could pull the greatest larceny that a kid can pull and still go free......without even a scolding........
see how good this day has always been for me...........
well now its a different story altogether..... the celebrations have changed and so have the leniency ......lol......
but still who gives a shit......its my day i will enjoy it to the fullest......yeeeeaaaaah!!!!!!

Nothing but you

hollow minds speaking truth
new ideas rotting at root
nothing seems to find the light
all smeared in useless plight
nothing seems to go my way
nothing seems to make me gay
nothing but you
its only you my desire.......

looking out into the world
searching for what i need
not knowing i was so close
those eyes' shelter i was to choose
nothing seems to go my way
nothing seems to make me gay
nothing but you
its only you my love..........

waiting there lookin still
my thoughts going for my kill
thinking sanity will have its way
making us understand someday
shouting out telling all
take some time or all may fall
nothing seems to go my way
nothing seems to make me gay
nothing but you
its only you my home..
its only you my world...........

Ode to life

HELLO...
i want you in here
standing very near....
taking some of the pain
which have made me drain
HELLO....HELLO
i want to say goodbye
may be its why i wanna die
life gave so much pain
maybe now it'll be slain

i cant still be sure
will this put an end for-ever
life will take its course
will i be so strong to force
myself.....HELLO.....
will you take my hand in yours
give me some hope no tears
i now think i dont wanna die
is there a painless way to lie
HELLO....HELLO.....

one of my very first verses......

Crazy

crazy
you r drivin me crazy
nuts
i'm goin nuts


y r u doin this 2 me
your whim i dnt wanna b
y cant you understand
its you who i cant withstand
everything is about u
its jus a trifle what i want
i am done puttin up with u anymore,
cause here am like toy for a whore.
i want you to leave me alone
cuase only solitude can give me solace
i dont wanna be crazy anymore
crazy..........


alone
i wanna b alone
deserted
leave my heart deserted

i want 2 command my life,
m exhausted wid all da intrusions.
let me be
will rather b a stray dog than a caged lion
m done being in everyone's beloved,
these feathers seem dirty.....
go away, leave me alone
i am of no use to you.
no more can you make me crazy
'cuase in this asylum
its you who are crazy.............

the guy...the oxymoron

This is my very first post.......
the mood is perfect....presently am listening to rockstar by nickelback......
Well i do wanna sing in front of an audience someday....i write my self too....but the dope is not really my thing...
what the hell...this was supposed to be like an intro or something............
well to all those who might read my blog and those to dont know me this is for u folks.....
Well am a small town guy...simple and easy going unless someone tries to mess with me......
I am very passionate about music and cricket.......
i listen to all sorts of music.....dark and heavy is preferred generally....i hate pop and girly music....sorry to those to like those kinda music.......i have no intention of offending u ppl.
I am straight forward kinda of a guy.......i will tell u in ur face if a dnt like u and also if i dig u.........
as the name of my blog suggests the rest of the matter to be posted here is solely for myself.........
caio.....\m/